The Garden of Hope

Synopsis: I am moving to Chiang Mai, Thailand to work with Garden of Hope, teaching English. But this is how I got there...
Things have taken another turn in my life here in SE Asia and everything has confirmed that the steps I am taking are truly taken in faith. After finishing up with Love 146 a couple of weeks ago in Palawan, I headed north to Angeles City, PH with Lacie, where she will be an interning therapist for the RENEW Foundation, the only non-profit working to support the over 15,000 sexually exploited women. My time with RENEW, the girls that live in the shelter, and the staff that work to support them has left a mark on my life forever. While there the staff from an

other NGO, Samaritana, held a training on outreach to the girls working in the bars. It was truly a privilege to take part in the training and prayer walk we did on fields avenue that evening. There could be as many as 3,000 girls working in a single club. It felt sort of like I imagine Las Vegas to be, but way more out in the open. The streets were lined with girls in their "uniforms" bidding for the attention of every passerby. Some wore elaborate costumes representing the theme of the club. Most of the girls looked no older than 20. We walked down one street called "blow job alley," it was dark and dingy, it had random cell like structures where unimaginable acts go on nightly. While walking down the alley, we passed a club where one girl who I locked eyes with told me I was pretty. I still don't know how to process that. These are women, flesh and blood no different than my own who sell their bodies nightly for the sake of a dollar. It is not glamorous. It does exist and it is our responsibility. That night I cried and prayed and then prayed some more. The only redeeming factor of the evening was the Videoke (a portable karaoke machine) which was rented to celebrate one of the girls' 18th birthday, they sang their hearts out until the wee hours of the morning, the songs of redemption to the tune of Celine Dion classics... Knowing the girls of RENEW made me ache for those still trapped inside the insanity of prostitution, but thankful there is hope.

After our night on fields ave (the most concentrated area of bars and sex clubs in the world), we headed out to catch a flight to Bangkok. The airport is basically supported by the sex tourism traffic. It is a former US military base but is known by most as a stop off for their sex tour of SE Asia. We knew it was going to be rough rubbing elbows in the airplane isles with the men who prostitute women, but the blatancy of the conversations we heard was truly grotesque. While checking in for the flight we stood in front of two American men who held nothing back about the details of their experiences and the overwhelming disappointment t

hey had with Filipina women. One man said he regretted tipping one girl 20 pesos (.42cents), while the other commented that some acted like they didn't even want to be there, later he expressed his hope to find a "real" relationship in Thailand with someone who shared his interests. I am giving the PG version of what we heard, but Lacie and I both wanted to scream, punch, kick, cry and run away, but were mostly paralyzed with the emotions of the past 24hrs. We were obviously American and yet there was no shred of consciousness or regard for the presence of two women who could understand them. These men often feel a sense of pride having taken pity on those who would be otherwise destitute, completely disregarding their humanity or long term affects prostitution has, not realizing their actions are illegal and demonic. They are blind to reality, that is the only way I can explain it. After getting through customs and buying some comfort food, we found the only empty seats that faced a sign advertising the beaches of Cebu, so we didn't have to look at the waiting room full of white male sex tourists. Soon we boarded the plane, which wasn't too full, but I was seated directly in front of the two Americans who were not shy about their business in SE Asia... so what did I do? Popped in my iPod, and started to cry. My heart is so broken, I am helpless, the lyrics of the Phil Wickham song "Grace" came to life, "I need eyes to be my guide, I need a voice that's louder than mine, I need hope and I need you, because I can't do this alone..." And then Jesus met me. The simple words that came were, My Love Wins. My love and God's love is so much stronger than the sex industry. Love will win, one child, one day at a time. I know this now more than ever.

Once we arrived in Bangkok we felt the fresh air of the rest of the world. We saw white men that were not sex tourist and wanted to hug every single one! It felt really good to be around other tourists and a truly international crowd. We quickly grabbed our bags and headed to the train station, where we ended up taking a 8hr bus ride to Chiangmai, northwest Thailand. Our trip was multi-purposed. I wanted to look into volunteer opportunities and also visit Lacie's family friend's orhpanage, Briana's House of Joy and be tourist in an amazing country. I had no idea what was going to happen that week but was practicing "living in the moment" all the while really hoping for some answers. The Garden of Hope staff were on fall break and I thought there was not going to be anyone around, until I got an email from the Director, Mark Crawford. He had some free time and wanted to meet! So obviously I did and it was a really good meeting, but he wanted me to chat with Hannah, the volunteer coordinator also. So, that night I did and I was offered a volunteer position teaching English to children at risk of trafficking and being prostituted in their drop-in program. I was absolutely stoked at the offer and joyfully accepted. There are a lot of possibilities within this position including developing a therapeutic English curriculum and helping with the hospitality training program. I am incredibly stoked on everything that I will be learning and that I get to help these children in such a crucial way, giving them love and practical skills. I am incredibly excited and will start my volunteer position early next month. I was able to find a really cute little place, that is above a knit shop of all things, and will settle in there for the next four months, returning sometime in early March... there will be lots more details to come, but my weary mind is slipping away so that shall be all for now, bless you!

Philippines: With the wind...

The journey of the past year of my life has been full of unexpected challenges and changes. From enduring engine failure while in the midst of a hurricane in the Caribbean Sea to waiting out two separate typhoons in the Philippines, things have stayed interesting to say the least. As storm systems move in and out, they serve to remind me that life also can change in an instant, with the strong winds of typhoon Parma blowing over the Philippine islands, so have they blown over the flow of my life and directed its course towards new horizons. After officially completing Module Two of the DTPA with Love 146, I had to do some serious evaluating of my current circumstances. Although the program is uniquely designed to create high quality aftercare workers and researchers, for me it is very much an introductory course. And so, after much prayer and seeking advice from family and friends, I have decided not to continue with the program.

The professors and Love 146 staff are some of the most incredible and beautiful people I have ever met, and I will always look back on my time living and studying within their care with great fondness. Further, it is because of the Love 146 programs that I am so inspired and driven to work directly in an aftercare setting. Love 146 has set the bar very high, and I hope to work with them again in the future. However, it is time for me to learn by doing and to put myself in a position to do so. One of the things that I have learned about where I fit in this huge multi-dimensional issue that is the commercial sexual exploitation of children, and their restoration, is that I have a lot to offer in the areas of personal and career development. For many survivors of CSEC one the basic and most insane issue they face is finding another way to make money besides prostitution. Prostitution is not the only option, but after years of being made to feel your value is merely based on how well you can sell yourself, it is hard for these women and children to see any hope. That is where I would like to step in by working with organizations that will provide practical skills and education that will enable survivors to thrive in new ways, living healthy lives and earning an income that they can feel proud of. I have experience teaching English and have applied for a few volunteer positions with organizations in Thailand. I am very hopeful about finding the right fit and know God is moving me every step of the way. Teaching English has been something I have fought for a long time, I really did not want to do it, and some how I had convinced myself that it feels like settling. However, being here, where the issue of CSEC is so prevalent and undeniable, English could be the lifesaver for so many individuals and a way for them to build confidence in themselves and a healthy future. Being a mentor, friend and teacher will be an honor and I would very much appreciate your thoughts and prayers for the right opportunity. Again I am so thankful for Love 146, who they are as an organization and how they have invested in me and now I finally feel ready to step out and find opportunities where I can serve. I will keep you posted as things develop and will need your prayers, love and support every step of the way.