The Garden of Hope

Synopsis: I am moving to Chiang Mai, Thailand to work with Garden of Hope, teaching English. But this is how I got there...
Things have taken another turn in my life here in SE Asia and everything has confirmed that the steps I am taking are truly taken in faith. After finishing up with Love 146 a couple of weeks ago in Palawan, I headed north to Angeles City, PH with Lacie, where she will be an interning therapist for the RENEW Foundation, the only non-profit working to support the over 15,000 sexually exploited women. My time with RENEW, the girls that live in the shelter, and the staff that work to support them has left a mark on my life forever. While there the staff from an

other NGO, Samaritana, held a training on outreach to the girls working in the bars. It was truly a privilege to take part in the training and prayer walk we did on fields avenue that evening. There could be as many as 3,000 girls working in a single club. It felt sort of like I imagine Las Vegas to be, but way more out in the open. The streets were lined with girls in their "uniforms" bidding for the attention of every passerby. Some wore elaborate costumes representing the theme of the club. Most of the girls looked no older than 20. We walked down one street called "blow job alley," it was dark and dingy, it had random cell like structures where unimaginable acts go on nightly. While walking down the alley, we passed a club where one girl who I locked eyes with told me I was pretty. I still don't know how to process that. These are women, flesh and blood no different than my own who sell their bodies nightly for the sake of a dollar. It is not glamorous. It does exist and it is our responsibility. That night I cried and prayed and then prayed some more. The only redeeming factor of the evening was the Videoke (a portable karaoke machine) which was rented to celebrate one of the girls' 18th birthday, they sang their hearts out until the wee hours of the morning, the songs of redemption to the tune of Celine Dion classics... Knowing the girls of RENEW made me ache for those still trapped inside the insanity of prostitution, but thankful there is hope.

After our night on fields ave (the most concentrated area of bars and sex clubs in the world), we headed out to catch a flight to Bangkok. The airport is basically supported by the sex tourism traffic. It is a former US military base but is known by most as a stop off for their sex tour of SE Asia. We knew it was going to be rough rubbing elbows in the airplane isles with the men who prostitute women, but the blatancy of the conversations we heard was truly grotesque. While checking in for the flight we stood in front of two American men who held nothing back about the details of their experiences and the overwhelming disappointment t

hey had with Filipina women. One man said he regretted tipping one girl 20 pesos (.42cents), while the other commented that some acted like they didn't even want to be there, later he expressed his hope to find a "real" relationship in Thailand with someone who shared his interests. I am giving the PG version of what we heard, but Lacie and I both wanted to scream, punch, kick, cry and run away, but were mostly paralyzed with the emotions of the past 24hrs. We were obviously American and yet there was no shred of consciousness or regard for the presence of two women who could understand them. These men often feel a sense of pride having taken pity on those who would be otherwise destitute, completely disregarding their humanity or long term affects prostitution has, not realizing their actions are illegal and demonic. They are blind to reality, that is the only way I can explain it. After getting through customs and buying some comfort food, we found the only empty seats that faced a sign advertising the beaches of Cebu, so we didn't have to look at the waiting room full of white male sex tourists. Soon we boarded the plane, which wasn't too full, but I was seated directly in front of the two Americans who were not shy about their business in SE Asia... so what did I do? Popped in my iPod, and started to cry. My heart is so broken, I am helpless, the lyrics of the Phil Wickham song "Grace" came to life, "I need eyes to be my guide, I need a voice that's louder than mine, I need hope and I need you, because I can't do this alone..." And then Jesus met me. The simple words that came were, My Love Wins. My love and God's love is so much stronger than the sex industry. Love will win, one child, one day at a time. I know this now more than ever.

Once we arrived in Bangkok we felt the fresh air of the rest of the world. We saw white men that were not sex tourist and wanted to hug every single one! It felt really good to be around other tourists and a truly international crowd. We quickly grabbed our bags and headed to the train station, where we ended up taking a 8hr bus ride to Chiangmai, northwest Thailand. Our trip was multi-purposed. I wanted to look into volunteer opportunities and also visit Lacie's family friend's orhpanage, Briana's House of Joy and be tourist in an amazing country. I had no idea what was going to happen that week but was practicing "living in the moment" all the while really hoping for some answers. The Garden of Hope staff were on fall break and I thought there was not going to be anyone around, until I got an email from the Director, Mark Crawford. He had some free time and wanted to meet! So obviously I did and it was a really good meeting, but he wanted me to chat with Hannah, the volunteer coordinator also. So, that night I did and I was offered a volunteer position teaching English to children at risk of trafficking and being prostituted in their drop-in program. I was absolutely stoked at the offer and joyfully accepted. There are a lot of possibilities within this position including developing a therapeutic English curriculum and helping with the hospitality training program. I am incredibly stoked on everything that I will be learning and that I get to help these children in such a crucial way, giving them love and practical skills. I am incredibly excited and will start my volunteer position early next month. I was able to find a really cute little place, that is above a knit shop of all things, and will settle in there for the next four months, returning sometime in early March... there will be lots more details to come, but my weary mind is slipping away so that shall be all for now, bless you!